Closest to the impact
by Hyuga09
Summary: Losing people comes in the line of work, especially when you're an emergency medic of the leaf village, but many don't realize the effect it can have when life literally slips in between your fingers. Based on an episode of Scrubs. NOT A CROSS OVER. R&R
1. Chapter 1

Closest to the impact

Losing people comes in the line of work, especially when you're an emergency medic of the leaf village, but many don't realize the effect it can have when life literally slips in between your fingers.

Sakura waited at the door with three other resident nurses and Shizune in the transfer bay of the hospital, they were just informed that an elderly woman collapsed and was being brought to Konoha hospital. The pinkette sighed as she watched for the ambulance like a hawk. This was her first day in the ER and her shift had just begun. In seconds the blare of the siren could be heard as she seen the emergency vehicle pull into the lot. She could feel the tension build as she waited. Shizune placed her hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Sakura, relax. Tsunade –sama would never put you anywhere you couldn't handle. So get ready because in a few seconds, it's all up to us." Sakura let out a breath she didn't know she held.

"Hai, arigato Shizune-sempai." The doors burst open and the paramedics rushed through with an older woman on a gurney.

"Status report!" Shizune called in a commanding voice.

"70 years old with ventricular fibrillation. We've been trying to stabilize her but we haven't been successful, she started flatling in in the ambulance." The hospital team immediately took over and Shizune dished out orders as they rushed the patient down the hall. Finally she turned to the pinkette.

"Sakura start chest compressions and do not stop, I need to grab the crash cart." With that she went to work zoning out while the other nurses did their jobs as she focused on the task at hand. Keep blood pumping in this woman's body.

"Sakura move back." Shizune commanded removing the woman's clothing and placing the defibrillator pads near the woman's heart and on the side of her chest. Again Shizune instructed the other nurses before readying the paddles.

"Charging!" The group stepped back watching the experienced medic. "Clear!" Sakura immediately went back to chest compressions as the group watched the heart monitor as it's loud single toned beep showed no rhythm.

"We're flat lining, Mae, get me 3 milligrams of Epinephrine in a syringe now! Clear!" The group once again stepped back as Shizune once again tried shocking the heart to once again beat.

"Lady Shizune." The nurse said handing the syringe to Shizune who immediately plunged the needle into the woman's chest and injecting her with the fluid. The monitor blipped once, twice, then once again flat lined.

"Sakura continue. You…" She said pointing to another nurse. "Increase the charge."

"Charging!" Once again they stepped back. "clear! Get 2 milligrams of norepinephrine. What's the BP?"

"Blood Pressure is 60 over 40 and dropping. We're losing her!" Sakura listened in shock as she continued with the chest compressions.

"We've been at it for almost a half hour, if this doesn't work, we're going to have to call it." Again the needle was thrust into the woman's chest. "Clear!" The group backed up and Sakura watched hoping for some kind of change. The heart monitor didn't even flicker. Sakura went back to the chest compressions while the room simply stood there.

"Sakura… Sakura she's gone." Shizune said softly. "As practicing doctor, you need to call it."

"W-What?"

"You need to call it Sakura, the time of death." She closed her eyes, then turned to glance up at the wall clock.

"Time of death… 10:30 pm." She stated softly as she pulled the sheet over the woman's face. "Shizune, I-I'm going to take my break now." She said before hurrying from the room, the rest of the crew stared sadly after her.

"So Shizune-san, it was her first time huh?" The raven haired woman sighed before replying.

"Yes, It's Sakura-san's first loss in medicine." She said walking from the room.

"Sakura, what are you doing in the break room, you've only been on call for a half hour?" Tsunade said as she noticed the familiar pink hair showing over the back of the couch.

"I'm sorry Shishou, I'll head back to the ER now." The blonde paused.

"Sakura, what's wrong?" The pink haired girl bowed her head, hiding the tears in her green eyes.

"I did everything I could, and it still wasn't enough." Tsunade sat down on the couch next to Sakura.

"And you feel as if her death is your fault?" Sakura silently nodded, not looking up at her mentor.

"If I could have done more…maybe she wouldn't have died."

Tsunade sighed. "Once you start blaming yourself for deaths that aren't your fault, my friend... that's a slippery slope that you can't come back from it. Trust me, I've seen it ruin a hell of a lot of good doctors, and I will not let it happen to you." Sakura looked into Tsunade's eyes for the first time that evening ,and because she said that...she knew it wouldn't. Tsunade gave her student a meaningful glance before walking out of the room.

"Sakura, we're going to be working in the ICU this afternoon." Tsunade said a few days later handing the pinkette her chart for the day.

"Thanks." As they entered the ICU it was in a frenzy, and immediately Tsunade walked to Shizune looking around questioningly.

"What's going on?"

"Tsunade-Sama, everybody who's had a transplant is failing. Mrs. Sikes who recieved the liver transplant is indicating perphrial neuropothy, my vlave patient's suffering partial complex seizures." Tsunade immediately walked into the third patitents room, leaving Sakura and Shizune in the hall. She came out looking concerned.

"I don't get it, what the hell happened?" Suddenly the medical director came towards them.

"Tsunade-san, the autopsy came back for the donor of all these patitents, she didn't die from a heart attack." Tsunade grabbed the autopsy report and flipped through it her eyes widening.

"Rabies?" She sighed looking around. "All right people all our transplant patients are infected, we know what we're dealing with now, so let's do this." Immediately they all broke off in separate directions.

Over the next few days they did all they could to keep the transplant patients going, but the odds were against them…First they lost Mrs. Sikes. Then Mr. Yuzushi…

Sakura walked into the break room with a bag of lunch, spotting Tsunade sitting on the couch like she herself had been last week.

'Tsunade-sensei needs me the same way I needed her…'

"Sensei, you hungry?" Sakura asked leaning over the couch.

"No." the blonde said softly as she crossed her arms and stared ahead. Sakura walked over and sat across from her sensei.

"There's no way you could have seen that coming… I mean seriously, rabies? There's like 3 reported cases a year…" Tsunade simply continued to stare ahead, so Sakura resigned herself to keep talking.

"In fact testing for it would have been irresponsible, it would have wasted supplies and time that those patitents didn't have." Tsunade finally spoke.

"I was… so obsessed with getting those organs…"

"Sensei, you had to be, the fact is those patitents were going to die in a number of hours, and you had to make a call. I would have done the same thing." Tsunade turned to face her student, her eyes pleading.

"Really?"

"Yes, I would. Now why don't we have some lunch? I bought food for both of us." Sakura said with a reassuring smile as she pulled out their lunches, but it seemed that today was going to be one of those days where the hospital just decides to keep piling it on, for not seconds after Sakura reached into the bag, both of their emergency beepers went off.

"Kami, please, Come on!" Tsunade said in a defeated voice as she clenched her eyes shut.

The sound of a flatlining monitor could be heard from her patient's room. Shizune was doing chest compressions while Tsunade handled the defibrillator.

"Clear!" *zap* flat line. Shizune continued once again.

"He's still flat lining, Clear!" nothing.

"Clear!" nothing. "Come on, damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!" Tsunade yelled angrily as she threw the chest paddles and punched a hole in the wall, as Shizune stared in shock. Tsunade stayed in the room, even after her patient was moved to the morgue. Sakura walked in and stood silently with her teacher.

"He…wasn't about to die…he could have waited another month for a kidney…." With that she turned and abruptly walked from the room heading out of the ICU. Sakura chased her out calling after her.

"Sensei, where are you going, your shift's not over." Tsunade continued walking. "Hey!" Finally Tsunade stopped, but didn't turn around.

"Remember what you told me? The second you start blaming yourself for people's deaths there's no coming back." Finally Tsunade faced her student.

"Yeah…you're right." Then she left.


	2. Chapter 2

Closest to the impact

Chapter 2

As the days passed since the loss of Tsunade's patients, Sakura noticed how it affected her, first she seemed to be uncontrollably sad…After that she started acting out. The pinkette vividly recalled how out of the blue, Tsunade flipped over a table in a restaurant before storming out. Sakura sighed as she walked through the halls of the hospital hearing the others talking about Tsunade.

"I heard she flipped on the matridee."

"Yeah, well I heard she messed up one of the council members." Now sakura glowered in annoyance.

"Enough guys, She doesn't need this." Immediately they hushed, but she had a feeling it wouldn't be for long. "Cmon guys, remember, three patients died! You have to giver some due credit, after all, had that happened to one of us, we wouldn't have come out of it standing like she is. " Sakura said as she walked into a room with a patient, and seeing Tsunade she smiled. 'This is why she's the best doctor here!'

"Oh, Sakura can you give me some trouble? I'm having a little help here." The blonde said drunkenly as Sakura stared with wide eyes.

'Oh no.'

Shizune had a few people gathered around.

"Ok, were like a family, and when one of ours is in trouble, we do what we can to help, I've gotten Tsunade some time off, but I've made a schedule for us to spend some time with her…I don't think it's best to leave her alone for now. I've got first watch. Naruto you can spend some time with Tsunade in the evenings, Sakura you're after me and before Naruto. Any questions with the schedule come ask me. For now you guys are dismissed."

Sakura stayed behind with Shizune.

"I feel bad, Tsunade-sensei came to work drunk and we're acting like nothing ever happened, I think we should try and do more…"

"I agree." The raven haired woman said sadly. " But there's only so much we can do…you know?" Sakura nodded and headed to her shift at the hospital.

Shizune knocked on Tsunade's door before opening it. The blonde simply sat there drinking straight from the sake bottle. "Hi Tsunade-sama." The blonde gave no response. "Nothing? Not even a hi?" Shizune sighed. "Tsunade you can't keep beating yourself up over this, bad things happen, it's all part of life. I'm sorry it hurts now, I really am." Tsunade stood and Shizune did as well holding out her arms. But instead of the hug she was expecting, The blonde walked right passed her and grabbed another bottle of sake and sat down once again, ever silent. Hours after Shizune left, Naruto arrived.

"Baa-Chan, are you alright?" He asked waving his hands in front of her blankly staring eyes. "Baa-Chan?" After spending his time with Tsunade with no progress he hugged her shoulder and left meeting Sakura at the hospital.

"Sakura, your shift with Baa-Chan starts in ten minutes." The pink haired girl sighed.

"Naruto, I- I can't go today, there's something wrong at home." She lied. "Can you let Shizune know please? I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, sure Sakura, I hope things get better."

"Thanks Naruto." With that the pinkette walked home to her empty apartment. How could she ever tell them the truth?

Shizune looked saddened as she answered Tsunade's door and finding Naruto once again. After he left, she turned to her mentor.

"Sakura was supposed to come, but she couldn't. So I'll stay for a bit longer ok?" Tsunade raised the bottle to her lips but paused at that statement before lowering it. Instead she chose to look away.

Sakura walked down the familiar hallways but was stopped by Shizune.

"Sakura, why didn't you go see Tsunade? You know she needs us right now!" Sakura sighed.

"I'm just not comfortable that she actually showed up to work drunk, so deal with it!" She hissed as she walked past a stunned Shizune. As Sakura finished her shift she looked around and felt hollow inside. Now was usually the time where Tsunade would praise her make a sarcastic remark about one of the patients and sent her on the way with a smile, but there was no Tsunade. Sighing she knew what she had to do, and she'd been putting it off for almost four days now.

As she knocked on the door Shizune opened with a surprised look on her face.

"Hey, I'm here to do my shift with Tsunade-sensei." With a nod, the raven haired girl left the room with Naruto following behind her, after a quick pat on the shoulder they both left the apartment. Sakura walked over and sat on the couch next to her mentor.

"I know you were wondering why I never visited you, even though you'd never admit it." Tsunade just sat there wrapped in a blantet. However, the sake had yet to touch her lips.

"I tried convincing myself that the reason why I didn't come in earlier was because you came to work drunk…but that's not it." This gained Tsunade's attention as she looked over at her pink haired student. "I was scared. After these years I've been learning from you, I've viewed you as some kind of super hero, that would always help me out of any situation I was in… I needed that. But that's my problem, and I'll deal with that… I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am Sensei." The blonde blinked in shock, but Sakura continued on.

"Not because of how you handled your patients, but because even after being a doctor for over 30 years, when things go badly…you still take it this hard. You are the kind of doctor I want to be. " She said her eyes glistening with tears. Reaching to the table Sakura grabbed a glass and poured some sake in it before taking a long drink. Now the blond truly stared at her student.

"You don't drink Sake." She said with a small smirk as Sakura opened her mouth in disgust letting the liquid fall back into the glass in her hand.

"That was disgusting."

"Sakura?" Green eyes met amber ones.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."


End file.
